In the beginning.....

A few months ago Luke and I both felt that God was calling us to adopt again. It was very heavy on our hearts and a constant theme during prayer time. *We* have wanted to adopt a few times since our return from China with Caleb and Addi. However, through prayer and petition that was not God's will at the time so we were still and waited.

The funny thing about the past two years is that even with all the crazy (selling a house, building a house ourselves and renting) we would have stepped out in faith had God made that abundantly clear. As God saw fit the past almost 3 years was not the time for our family to make that step; so we waited.

Back to the story...a few months ago God was really impressing upon us (separately) that it was time. One weekend we were chatting about all of our blessings; our amazing children, the home God has provided through Luke's hard work, friends, family, etc. Luke looked at me and asked if God was showing me anything recently. Was he speaking to me about anything in particular? I of course laughed because only God would speak to us separately so that we each *knew* and then bring us together for the ultimate "a-ha moment". I told him what God had laid on my heart but that I had some worries. What if this, what about that...that would be me - the worrier. Luke shared the same revelation and then reminded me that what God calls us to do he firmly supports and when we said "Yes, Lord, send us!" we meant it. ((AMEN! We meant it with all of our hearts!))

At that time there was no real urgency. As we prayed about starting with an agency and filling out our medical needs checklist we both had a feeling that God was telling us to "Be still". So, we knew we were going back but we were to wait for whatever reason and we did.

*When you step out to adopt a child in God's kingdom be prepared for the one who hates to be on attack. It never fails. New appliances will die, your van *ahem* will get two flat tires in as many months, sickness will abound and all around heck will break loose. The wonderful thing about that is you know you are on the right track. Don't stop, don't flip out. Trust that God has you firmly wrapped in his hands. Annoying and bothersome these things maybe...but they are only to make you think you aren't doing what you should. Take comfort in the fact that the enemy will let you know when you ARE on track by his hissy-fits.*

Fast forward two months. We had been waiting, praying and waiting some more. It was interesting that God said "it's time" yet now we wait. We honestly weren't sure why but it's not up to us to know. Through my work and the groups I'm in I see hundred of faces each month...fatherless, motherless, just waiting to be chosen. Although heartbreaking, God never revealed that any of those children were to be ours. Luke and I were looking through advocacy posts and on various online websites to see the children available. We knew that our span of "special needs" was quite larger than before. So many things that *we* thought we couldn't do no longer scared us. ((Caleb and Addi have taught us SO much!!)) We happened upon Bethel China's website. We laughed and talked about how blindness/low vision wasn't a big deal to us. We did say that it would be lovely for Kaden to have a brother closer to his age, a child who could grow up on our little budding homestead/farm, be independent later in life and just be a perfect fit for our family. One of the little boys caught our attention, he was adorable. He reminded us of Caleb but we weren't sure how he would do on a homestead/farm. We moved on and chatted about him from time to time.

A few weeks ago I was talking with a close adoptive Mama friend about what had all be going on. I told her about this little boy who we couldn't stop talking about but that due to us living on a homestead/farm we just didn't know how another child with low vision would do here. That evening an advocate posted this little boy's advocacy blog post. I followed the link and read over the information that I had read before. I then decided that I would see where he lived and who all lives there as well. There are a few different places the Bethel children reside. When I Googled his location I immediately started to laugh...out-loud.

He lives on a farm.

A FARM.

With big dogs, sheep, gardens...a farm. I found additional information about him...he's independent, loves to help his teachers, etc. Pictures of him riding a bike, video of him playing and counting...God had showed us who our son would be.

Why did God not urge us to jump into medical checklists and wait for a referral? Because He had our referral...we just had to listen.

Sunday was coming and I truly wanted to make sure this was God's plan. I had sooo many questions. I was petitioning God for a big "FLASHING SIGN" that we were on the right path. Well, He gave me my sign and it left me bawling at the back of our church. That story is for later.

There is so much more to Benjamin's story but I will stop here for now.